One more baby? {Family Photographer Colchester}

We have 3 children. Currently they are 5 (almost 6), 4 and 18months. Though prior to marriage we talked about having 4, 3 is our number and we’re sticking to it! People have mentioned to me before that maybe it’s because there were 4, I have been pregnant 4 times. Unfortunately we lost our first baby, so maybe that’s why this feels right.

So number 1 and 2 were always a given. We wanted a family, we wanted a sibling for our first born. So what about number 3? Should we? Could we? The number of blog posts I read about this craved number 3! In the end the could we part was overtaken by thoughts of regret if we didn’t because I knew I’d never regret a child that we had.

These thoughts consumed me for about a month. In the shower, in the car, keeping me awake at night. Would it be hard? Would we be going back a stage? Could I continue my career as a family photographer? Could I fit it all in? The number one question… Could I split my love 3 ways?!

Well the truth is you never split any love, instead the love grows! Not just your own love for your children but seeing your older children loving their new sibling, the cuddles, how gentle they are. Amazing! With our boys being so close in age we hadn’t experienced that before. Then you look at your partner and you see their love has grown, you watch as they hold this delicate little person in their arms so gently. Somehow with baby number 3 I noticed this so much more. Maybe because we were calmer, maybe because I’m holding onto every single little thing because I know she’s our last.

For me number 3 has changed my life so so much. I’m the mother I wanted to be now. I’m calmer, less fussy and confident. Number 1 you’re new to this crazy world of parenthood and then number 2 (especially with a close gap!) is all about learning to juggle the two. Then there’s number 3, they just seem to fit in and you just get on with it.

By being the new calmer Mummy I am now I feel I’m enjoying it so much more. The discovery of babywearing too has just made it for me.

In no way is it easy, far from it! There are arguments, lots of juggling and very busy days. Splitting your time, ensuring homework is completed whilst making sure a toddler isn’t climbing onto the window ledge (again!), then the guilt of not giving your middle child enough attention. It can be tough, you can wonder if sticking at 2 would’ve been an easier life. But April, my number 3, she’s made me the person I want to be and for that I am so so glad that we decided to go for one more!

In the end only you will know but we’re very happy with our 3…

DSC_8176DSC_8216DSC_0036Child portrait photographer colchesterFamily Lifestyle Photographer Colchester

If you’d like to read more about me juggling things why not take a look at one of my previous blogs here.

 

 

 

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